3.10.2013

Park City

Last Sunday was a hard Sunday for Mark and I.
We drove to Wyoming for our newest nephew's baby blessing.
It was the drive that was so hard.
In order to get to Wyoming we have to drive Parley's pass that leads to Park City.
We have only made that drive one other time since Miles passed.
For Thanksgiving.
It was hard then too.

I have so many vivid memories driving that pass as we left the resort on October 13, 2012.
I couldn't keep my eyes of the sky as my son was being life flighted to PCMC.
I couldn't connect the reality with my brain that my son with up there in the helicopter with out me.
His life in a state of uncertainty in which I had no control over.

Band-Aids couldn't fix him, nor my kisses and snuggles.
It was such a foreign and unreal feeling.
One I was never able to fully grasp ahold of.

My sweet brother in law drove Mark and I to the hospital as we were in no state of mind to drive ourselves.
The drive seemed forever long.
When in reality is was under 20 minutes, or should have been.
I didn't time it.
But it felt like it too forever to see the Salt Lake Valley.
Especially when I could no longer see the helicopter.

So last Sunday my emotions were all over the place as we drove up Parley's pass.
I felt nauseous, a bit dizzy, and just plain sick to my stomach.
Then we found the weather to be so terrible all we could do was focus on the road.
I told Mark, although I didn't like driving on roads like this, I was secretly grateful that we couldn't see our surroundings.
That we couldn't see the beautiful mountains that we love so much.

I was equally grateful that on the ride home, we found the roads to be even worse.
We were in such dense fog that we could only see about 20 feet in front of us.
Another blessing in disguise for me.
Never would I have thought of such bad roads to be a blessing.
But this day they were.

I'm so sad that Park City is now a hard place for me to even pass on the road.
We love it there.
A sweet friend of mine has even invited me to her house in Midway a couple times.
Both time I have canceled due to bad weather.
But I'm realizing it might be more than bad weather keeping me from going.

One day I will return to Park City again.
It may just be awhile.
But for now, I think I will stay away from that area and that pass.

4 comments:

  1. I dont mean to cause painful feelings by sharing my story, I hope I dont, but I can partly relate to your feelings of Parleys. Almost 7 years ago, I was in a rollover in Parleys. It was the worst day of my life. I nearly lost My mom. She is my life, my hero, my everything. At the time I was only 16 so it was terrifying. I literally came inches from losing my entire family. The man who hit us passed away. It was all together a huge nightmare. In the last 7 years I have only driven through Parleys 4 times. Its a huge struggle for me. Its hard for me to pass the 30ft drop where I nearly lost everything. Though I cannot imagine losing my child and for that I am so sorry to you. I have had an overwhelming feeling to pray for your family. I hope you can continue to heal and find comfort in prayer. Your son is a guardian angel. What an amazing thing to imagine.

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  2. Made me cry too. Thanks Andrae. I love your honesty and heart felt thoughts. Thank you.

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  3. I've wondered how you felt about Park City. I think it's okay if it takes awhile. I hope it comes to be a peaceful place for you guys someday. Love you.

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