(Vivian wearing the raincoat we had bought for Miles to wear at this age, but never got the chance.)
Over the last month we have already experienced many firsts with Vivian. It's been both exciting and very bittersweet. She has lost her first tooth. Thus the Tooth Fairy has now made an appearance at the Kelly house. On her fourth birthday Vivian decided it was time to ditch the Strider bike of Miles' and ride a big girl bike without training wheels. This took only one try. It was incredible to watch. She is pushing and exploring her independence daily and that in itself is very interesting for me as a mother.
I've literally tried to focus my attention on Vivian and truly enjoy each moment with her over the past month. I can't help but think of her brother at this age as I hold her and hug her each day. To remember what it was like to hold my sweet boy at that age and feel his awesome hugs with his arms wrapped so tight around my neck. Vivian doesn't quite hug as strong and as intense as he did, and oh how I miss his hugs! But I find myself starring at Vivian's feet and hands remembering Miles' sweet little body and how much I miss every inch of it!
So here we go forward, time ticking away, reminding me each day that life is moving forward, even if my mind and heart still can't grab a hold of this concept, as I'm stuck in a frozen yet ever aging life. Yet I am trying to appreciate all the new adventures in our lives as I see my girls so happy as they grow. Both girls are so sweet to always remember and even include Miles in their thoughts, words and hearts each day. He may not have been here physically to lose a tooth, to ride a two wheel bike and many more things, yet we feel him close with us, cheering us on and watching over us in the most special ways. It truly is a sacred and beautiful thing.