Happy Birthday Mark

Today we are celebrating this amazing man.

Mark, you truly do amaze me.

You are so kind, so loving, you always give others the benefit of the doubt instead of judging.

Your an extremely hard worker, you tend to others needs before your own.

You are spiritually on a level that I desperately want to be on.

But I have watched you reach that point and continue to watch you get higher and higher.

You are a wonderful father.

You radiate love for our children before they are even born.

You have always been our kids best buddy.

They think you are much cooler than me, and it's obvious why.

Miles always wanted to be where you were, do what you were doing and most of all be just like you.

He was your little shadow and I think he still is whether you know it or not.

Vivian is always asking me when you are coming home from work.

She gets so excited at the thought of you home and misses you every minute you are gone.

I think it's safe to say she has a crush on you, and you are her first true love.

Clara and you have a bond that I cannot describe.

You two are soul mates in a way I love to watch.

I've never had a child cry out for their daddy in the night, but you are the only one she wants.

I'm sorry it makes for some long nights for you, but you give her comfort that only you can give her.

Thank you for always being there for her.

Oh how I wish our little party planner was here today to help me pull off a spontaneous birthday surprise. Birthdays' were his thing, and I'm having a hard time wanting to celebrate anything without him here.

I wish more than anything I could give him to you for your birthday!

My heart aches watching you miss your little buddy. 

Watching you grieve leaves me feeling helpless.

Today is your day, and we want you to know how much we love you!!

How much all four of us love you!!!

You are our rock and we couldn't ask for a better one!!!

We love you so much!

Let's bust out the party hats Miles' chose and have a great celebration!

Love you Mark!!

Family Pictures 2014

Our dear family friend, and almost family, Alex Hawker took our family photos this year.

We ran into her at a store in town one day and she said she wanted to do something special with our family if we were okay with it. (I will tell you what in just a second.)

I told her we wanted family photos anyway so let's just do it all at the same time.

The day couldn't have been more perfect. 

(Well expect for if Clara felt better, that would have helped.)

We woke up super early in the morning and drove out to Terreton, ID, an hour and half away from where we currently live.

It was overcast, no wind and pretty warm for this time of year.

Out in Terreton it gets really windy. 

Like REALLY windy. So honestly we couldn't have asked for a better day!

We are thrilled with the way our pictures turned out!

The colors are amazing.

Since it's a farm town, we embraced its beauty.

(When I was a little girl we lived out there. I have wonderful memories of the town.)

These are even my uncle's straw stacks. 

Cool backdrop huh!

It's fun to have some family ties in all these photos!

Clara wasn't feeling too well that week.

So we are happy with what we got of her.

She really didn't want anything to do with photos.

She just wanted wrapped in the blanket her Grandma Kelly made her.

It's one of our favorite blankets!

If you notice Miles' beloved Monkey, yes he named him Monkey, is in almost all our photos. 

He always will be from here on out.

Alex captured this sweet moment with Vivian and Monkey.

I love it!

I just love this girl.

She has helped us through so much, she may never even know it.

And this sweet blessing came to us during the hardest time in our lives.

It's rare to capture her so still.

But she's as sweet as they come.

This photo is taken at a Pellet Mill my grandpa and his brother built decades ago.

The contradiction of happy and sad in this photo just grabs at my heart.

More at the Mill.

We will be going back there again someday for more family photos. It's amazing!

Okay, now the proposed project of Alex's.

She said she loved the photos of our family at Miles' grave on his birthday, but was sad our whole family wasn't in them. 

She asked if she could take our family's pictures at his sacred transformation place. 

Mark and I were so humbled and touched by this thought.

Thus, out to Terreton for family pictures it was, because that is where our son rests for now.

We took out some of Miles' favorite toys and played around his headstone, while telling the girls stories about their big brother who now watches over them from above.

The girls never tire of Miles stories, and neither do we!

The girls also LOVE to play with his things!

Mark and I love seeing them and holding them again whenever we get them out.

Thank you Alex! You are so thoughtful! I'm not sure I would have ever thought of doing this by myself. We will always cherish these photos. We must do it again!

If you want to check Alex out you can find her here at

Alex Hawker Photography

(just click for the link)

She's based out of Blackfoot, ID is very reasonability priced. She

 does a great job and is as sweet as can be!

Love that girl!

I can't wait to get these up on my walls!!

Jumping & Front Flips

For Miles' birthday we took the girls to an indoor jump house.

Miles LOVED those places!!!

Needless to say Clara was totally in her element.

Vivian was too.

The girls were coming up with new tricks of sliding and climbing up crazy things.

We totally took advantage of the foam pits.

Hello sweetness!

Dang I wish we had one at our house!

The girls jumped into like crazy girls.

Plus we would toss them in the pit at crazy high altitudes, while being safe of course.

Then the front flips began.

Mark started us all off.

It soon became a family affair.

That is once we wrangled Clara from the restricted area.

Cones don't deter this girl. No way.

Everyone was pulling the flips out.

This shot makes mine like dinky, bad angle. I assure you I had some good air.

I blame the camera man.

Then it was to the kid zone for the little ones to pull out the flips.

Vivian got really good at them!

And of course Clara had to be in on it as well.

Did I mention the girl is doing back flips off my sofa now?

With my assistance of course.

But come on girl, you are only 14 months. Simmer down just a little.

I love this photo of the girls. 

They really are the best of friends. 

Just like Miles and Vivian were/are.

We had such a good time and spent a solid two hours here just jumping, flipping and forgetting about the hard things in life. I'm pretty sure Miles was there laughing along side of us, giving us pats on the back for each new trick performed. It was a good afternoon!

Rainstorms & 10 Years

Since moving here to Pocatello we have had three flash flood warnings.

Two of which have been the last two days.

This is crazy people.

Well if you know us at all, we can't let a good rainstorm go to waste.

Miles would be so disappointed if we did.

So I grabbed the girls jackets and boots and we went out.

After all the torrential down pour was over of course. Safety first.

We went knocking on all the neighborhood kids doors that we knew

 to see if they wanted to join in on the fun.

This is in the grass on the side of our house.

Seriously....look at how deep that is.

Clara was enamored by how much water was gushing out of the downspout.

This was the parking lot just behind our house.

It was more like a swimming pool. Seriously.

Clara kept sitting in it like it was a wading pool.

She was soaked from head to toe.

Literally, her poor feet were purple at the end.

The girls had a blast.

We all had a blast. 

I wouldn't lie if I said I didn't get in and have some fun myself.

There's nothing like a good rainstorm and the way it makes you feel inside.

It's been a good couple days.

On another note: 

Today Mark and I are celebrating 10 years of marriage.

I can't believe it's been 10 years. 

Where has time gone?

We have been through some amazing ups and some seriously low lows.

Sometimes I feel like we have gone through more than some will ever go through in their lifetime.

Yet in 10 short years we have experienced so much.

Unfortunately I know we don't get a hall pass from future trials and pain.

Even though I think we deserve one now!!!

But I do know that if we have made it this long and this strong we are bound to make it through whatever life brings our way.

We are blessed with three amazing, beautiful children with only more to come (not yet people, not yet).

We have so much love and happiness around us.

We are lucky to have each other!!!

Here's to eternity.

Family Fun Reunion

 We had so much fun at our reunion in July.

I couldn't help but think how much Miles would have LOVED it.

We always love getting together with our family.

We made giant bubbles with the kids.

But the adults had just as much fun and we were sure to capture really cool things with the GoPros and the bubbles!

The crab pool is ALWAYS a hit with my kids!

Thanks dad for always bringing it!

Of course the girls gravitated to the sand every day and made sure to get good and dirty in it.

We made our very own paper rockets and had a rocket launching competition.

Clara and I did pretty well if I do say so myself!

A blast to say the least!

But the zip line is always the star of the show.

This year Vivian was brave enough to go down with Mark and I.

And of course Clara went down.

If you didn't know this already this girl is an adrenaline junkie already.

I know, she just turned one.

But honestly it's true.

Even though she has a solemn face in this picture (it's a Kelly our kids do), she LOVED it and went down multiple times!

This is a video of Clara's first time going down the zip line with my brother Kurtis.

Two adrenaline junkies paired perfectly.

(That's our very own Nitro Circus Star. Love that boy!)

Kicking off July

What a weekend last weekend was.

We jumped....

....lots!

We celebrated this sweet girl's first year of life.

We also celebrated our Nana's birthday.

We ate birthday cake.

We had lots of family time. 

Did a few sparklers.

I think we will always have to do fireworks for Clara's birthday!!!

Hello new tradition!

We did more sparklers.

Okay we did LOTS of sparklers.

We enjoyed Papa and Nana's big yard and abundance of sprinklers and grass.

And we ended it all with gratitude and thankful hearts for all of our family and our freedoms!

The only thing that would have made it better would to have all of our children with us.

But in many small and wonderful ways....they were.

We have so much to be grateful for!!!