4.18.2013

Trials in Life


I've often caught a glimpse of an older lady who lives in our complex stopping and scowling at my window.
She then sometimes walks off shaking her head. I don't know her, but I know she is a tidy lady.
So I'm sure she doesn't appreciate that it is springtime and I still have Halloween up in my window.
I'm sure she didn't like that I had a spring banner up along with the Halloween decals for Easter either. The thing is Mark and I can't seem to take these Halloween decals down.
Miles put them up just weeks before he passed.
He would spend each day rearranging them ever so carefully.
He loved them.
He was so excited for Halloween!

If only this neighbor knew why we still have Halloween in our window during the spring.
If only she knew that during the winter I would boil water just to steam up the windows in the house to see all his little handprints that cover the window.
Handprints that I can't bring myself to clean off, even if less light comes into the house.
I love that dirty Halloween window.
I may keep it that way as long as we live here.
If only she knew all this, I'm sure she wouldn't scowl at my window anymore.
She may even love those decals as we do.

Through the loss of Miles we have and are learning many valuable lessons in life.
One of which is judgement.
Who am I to judge another?
I don't know their trials in life.
I don't know why they are in the situation they are in.
I don't know the cause for their actions, dress, behavior and more.
Instead I do know that there is a story behind each person.
That's what I try to say now, "that's a story" instead of something mean or judgmental about someone.

I often find myself out in public really looking at people.
Trying to read their soul I guess.
(It hasn't worked yet, and I'm not too sure I would want this power anyway.)
I look at them and wonder what trial they are up against.
What is their hardship right now?
Everyone has one. Everyone.

I even find myself looking at older women wondering if they too have lost a child.
Then I wonder if they have, how have they lived so long with the heartache?

When I look at people this way, realizing that they too are facing an unseen trial, I find myself loving people so much more.
I have more patience with them and even myself.

Marvin J. Ashton wrote " If we could look into each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care."

Mark and I aren't perfect. It's not always easy not to judge another. But it is something we work hard on everyday. I don't want people to judge me when they don't know all the details of my life.
So I in turn shouldn't judge them, right?

I can't help but think what a better and loving world it would be if we all judged a little less harshly and in turn just loved one another more. If instead we helped strengthen and build one another up. What a wonderful world it would be.

8 comments:

  1. I love this insight. :)

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  2. This is exactly what I needed to read today!

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  3. Beautiful post :) I am so sorry for your loss, my heart aches for your family. You don't know me but I follow your blog and keep you in my prayers.. But I would like to share something with you, there is an older lady in our ward who lost her little girl when she was backed over by a car many years ago. This lady I look up to each and every day. She always wears a smile, looks beautiful everyday (something I have a hard time doing haha I love my pj's) She still misses her baby, and you can see that, but I think through the years the pain might ease some. So I am hoping that someday you will look at this tragedy in your life and see how much it has strengthen you. I too, would not want to take down your Halloween decor :( I think its fine to be able to look at it and remind yourself of your beautiful son.

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  4. I loved reading this Andrae. Even though i have never met you, I can feel what a beautiful and kind person you are inside and out. I am grateful to have someone like you to look up to. I can't wait for the day when you will get to hold your sweet son again in your arms. Keep those handprints on that glass as long as you can:)

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  5. Andrae this is a beautiful post. Even though I have never met you, I can tell you are a beautiful and kind person inside and out. I cannot wait for the day when you will get to hold sweet Myles again in your arms. And keep those hand prints on that window as long as you can:) We keep praying for you and your family.

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  6. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and mark. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. I love reading your heartfelt words. They strengthen me and give a different perspective on life. You help me to be a better mom and for that I thank you. We will continue to pray for you guys.

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  7. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and mark. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. I love reading your heartfelt words. They strengthen me and give a different perspective on life. You help me to be a better mom and for that I thank you. We will continue to pray for you guys.

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  8. You don't know me but I just want to say I am thinking and praying for you. This is probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. It reminds me of something my teacher taught me. After losing her husband she still had to live life and went to the grocery store and a man held the door open for her. In her complete numbness, she barely noticed and said nothing. He huffed and said something rude, annoyed about her not saying thank you or even acknowledging him. She told us that to think twice before we judge because we don't know why that person is sad, angry, messy, or distracted that day. I would keep those decorations up forever too. You are an amazing person and I can't tell you how I am. It's not fair that you have to endure this trial. Thank you for your words and helping us all become a little better and kinder/

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