It's been a crazy past week and a half around here. First we got the best news ever....my husband was offered a new job! YEAH! We have been praying for this for years now. We are looking forward to more time together as family again. He will only have to work 40 hours a week instead of 70 hours. So that means we can start healing together as a family now. A much needed thing around here.
We are looking forward to spending more time together, exploring a new town, making new friends and so much more. It will also be nice to only be an hour and half away from where Miles is buried rather than four hours. We know that's not where he is, but it's still nice to be able to spend time at his resting place. Mark and I are really looking forward to this!
With change come great things, but it's always hard to let go of some of the wonderful things you have.
We are going to miss many good friends and family close. We are going to miss these amazing Utah mountains and how close they are. We are for sure going to miss all the special places we spent time as a family with Miles making beautiful memories. It's hard to think of leaving all that. I keep telling myself we won't be that far and we will visit. I will always hold those special places and memories close to my heart for as long as I live!!
As I have been busy packing up yesterday was a hard one for me. I was packing up the last of Miles' clothes in the closet. It was than that the reality of these new changes hit me. This house holds so many wonderful memories of our sweet son. The people in our neighborhood and ward know my son, they know what he looks like, laughs like and just how sweet he is. They hold a piece of Miles with them that they can relate to with me. It helps makes me feel comfortable.
It's sad to think that where we are going people won't know how adorable, kind and just how funny Miles is. They will look at us and think we are a family of four not five, with just two adorable girls, not realizing that we also have a very handsome son. That's sort of a hard thing to think of.
But with these changes I realize that I am looking forward to a change. I'm looking forward to moving forward in our healing. To making new friends as I find myself again. Maybe that's what this change is for, for us to find ourselves again. I really think it is. I do like the idea of people getting to know my son through me, because he is always and will always be with me and my family. His spirit and love of life radiates through me each day.
It's truly interesting how our Father in Heaven works. We got the news of Mark's new job just the day before Miles' 18 month passing date. It felt as though the heaviest weight was lifted of our chests and hope was in our hearts again. I felt as though the Lord was in a way saying "look at what you have done in 18 months, you've done it and done it well....now here is a new chapter of love and hope for your family. A way to feel love and allow love to be felt again. A new chapter with Miles along side you in a new capacity."
So here are to new changes, new chapters, new memories and new hope in life.