Last Friday we celebrated Miles' 5th birthday.
Mark took the day off and we spent it as a family.
We went to the BYU Bookstore and got everyone a BYU shirt.
For some reason Miles loved BYU, even though we never taught him about it to begin with.
His love of BYU truly was self discovery on his part.
He would tell me everyday, at least 20 times minimum, that he was going to go to BYU.
Each year on his birthday he always wanted a BYU article from Aunt Amy.
Which she never disappointed.
So one of our new traditions for his birthday is for everyone to get something BYU.
Afterwards we meet up with friends and family at the same park we celebrated his birthday at last year.
It was a wonderful turn out.
I'm sure Miles was smiling down on each one of us.
We did our annual birthday balloon launch.
We all took a minute in silence as we thought about Miles, his life and our love for him.
We asked each person to send a heartfelt message of love to Miles with each balloon.
I couldn't hold back the tears.
My messages of love seemed too many and too heavy to float away with that one balloon.
Oh how I wanted to float away with my balloon and personally deliver my messages.
It was a beautiful sight seeing all the messages of love being sent up to the heavens.
I hope Miles got each one and felt all of our love with each of them.
I'm sure he did.
I couldn't hold back the tears at that point.
Why and how was I celebrating my son's birthday without him?
How was this really happening?
Vivian loved sending the balloons to Miles.
She sent another balloon up herself later, and said
"Happy Birthday Miles" as it floated up, "I Love You!"
She is so sweet.
I really wish I knew what she thinks and understands about this whole thing.
The most important thing is she knows her brother loves her and she loves him.
She also knows that Miles lives with Jesus and Papa and Nana Great.
She finds comfort in that....I think.
I know I do.
All in all it was truly a bittersweet day.
It was so full of love and support.
We are grateful for each person who came out to show not only their love for Miles but also us.
Happy 5th Birthday Miles.