The Words We Speak

I can't wait for General Conference this weekend! To hear from our beloved Prophet and his counselors and leaders in the church. I know that not everyone shares my faith, but I do want to share one thing with each of you.

Last conference I was so struck by the talk that Sister Rosemary M. Wixom gave titled "The Words We Speak." click here for the link to read it.

I have often reflected on the way I treated Miles. Right after Miles passed Mark and I discussed how we were and are so grateful that we didn't regret the way we spoke to him, how we treated him or interacted with him. What a blessing to not have any guilt from that! We never told him he was dumb, stupid, acting like a girl, to toughen up or any of the sort. Sure we told him he was silly at times, but nothing negative or name calling. The world is waiting to belittle our children, to strip them of all their confidence, so we don't need to do that. We have always tried to build up our children so that they can withstand those out there trying to tear them down.

I've always been aware of how parents speak and treat their children. We have all been there when a parent is talking in a negative tone, yelling or even calling their child names or belittling them. Bulling them really. We need to remember that they are children. They don't always know the things that we sometimes expect them to know. They haven't lived as long as us, so how can they know everything we do? It's hard to remember, but it's a fact. They are still learning and growing, and from us and our actions especially.

I remember a time that Miles was driving his matchbox car on the walls and I asked him not to drive his cars on the wall. He looked at me, said okay, and then continued to do it again. I got a little frustrated and said it again. Then after his repetitive behavior I finally asked him if he knew what the wall was, he wasn't even yet two years old. He looked at me confused said no. Then I got up and physically showed him what the wall was and asked him again not to drive his cars on the wall, just the floors and I showed him what the floors were. We never had a problem with that again. But I learned that day that just because he could walk, talk and understand me didn't mean that he understood everything I said to him. I needed to teach him and show him.

Since losing Miles I'm even more aware and sensitive to how people treat their children. Sometimes I want to walk up to some parents and tell them they may regret one day the way they are treating their child, as you never know when they may leave you. I'm not perfect but I'm trying hard to be a good mom and teacher to my children. Sure there are times I get frustrated with them, but I have to pull myself back from the situation and remember they are children and the way I treat them, talk to them and interact with them is more powerful to their future and how they will be as adults and even treat my grandchildren than I realize.

So please I challenge each of you to listen to and think about The Words We Speak with our little ones!


  1. You may not be a "perfect" parent, but you are a GREAT one! Becky and I have always looked up to you and Mark! You're both such great examples to us in SO many ways. We love you guys, and your sweet daughters.
    Now... Bec needs to get home so Vivi can come and play with her! :)

  2. Andrae, I have always admired the kindness in which you speak to your kids. I've told you that before. And I needed this reminder as I have had a rough time with Macy lately. Thanks for reminding me of the massive impact my words have and the way I say them! I hope to be more like you one day! Thanks! XOXO