I've been busy lately with these two adorable girls.
We have been savoring slow mornings, cuddle time, dance parties and so much more.
In the past few weeks I can honestly say that I have been falling in love with my children again.
What? Didn't I always love them?
How could you not love this sweet face?
Or this one?
I have always loved my children, all three of them!!!
But to be honest since Miles passed away I haven't really loved much of anything.
It's as though my heart has been stone cold, locked up and buried deep with in my soul so that I don't have to deal with all the pain the last 15 months have brought.
Loving something like I did before Miles passed away wasn't something my broken heart could do anymore.
I've shut myself off from loving as much as I used to maybe so that in the future I won't hurt as deeply as I have since Miles left me.
I truly loved that boy with all my heart and soul!
Admitting this is not easy.
I have carried around so much guilt about the matter over the past 15 months.
Because as I said earlier, I have always loved them.
I guess it's just that I haven't allowed myself to truly feel the love I have for them.
Feel the love deep within my heart and burn within.
Since we have been working on healing our family I feel myself starting to sort of let go of some of the pain I have held so deeply within for so long.
It's not all coming out yet. I'm going to have to slowly deal with each emotion that each day brings.
But as I allow these emotions to come to the surface I am truly starting to feel love in my life again.
I looked over at these sweet faces the other day and truly smiled deep within my soul.
It was then that I knew that I was falling in love with them, just as I loved Miles.
It feels so good! Each day that I fall more and more in love with these adorable girls I feel more and more freedom from some guilt, from some pain and I truly feel hope again.
Hope and light for the future and even the present.
God knew that I needed these girls in my life and at this exact time.
He knew I would find love again.
That I would find happiness in them and in life with them.
I truly do love these girls with all my heart and soul....just as I love their brother.
Falling in love is so magical and healing!