Grief Support

Yesterday was a really hard day.
I haven't cried as much as I did yesterday in a really long time now.
It all started when I went out to warm the car up in the early morning.
I was literally smacked in the face by a paper that had been attached to our door.
As I opened the paper to read it I saw this notice.
Apparently our HOA thought I forgot to take down my "Halloween Decorations."
Little did they know that I didn't forget about them.
I never will.
Remember this post {click here}.
Now to be fair, the HOA board didn't know my sweet son Miles, nor what happened to him.
Which is a really sad and hard thing to even say.
They had no idea when they posted this notice the depth of emotions and sentiment tied to those "Halloween Decorations." That they aren't "Halloween Decorations" to us. They are a reminder of our sons joy, fingerprints and handprints proving undeniably that my son did live, and still does. That he has touched our lives forever! Those "Halloween Decorations" are so much more than I can even put into words.

With that being said I took off, tears streaming down my face, running from door to door of the board members in the freezing cold of the morning trying to plead my case.
To no avail, no one was home. So I came back and grabbed every phone number I could think of and immediately set out calling each of them. Again I only got voice mails in which I could barely even udder my name out through all my tears.

As the day went on and the tears were literally staining my face I posted the above picture to Instagram and Facebook with my frustrations. I suppose I just needed to let my feelings out to someone as I couldn't reach anyone to plea with.

As I posted it {just as I do now} I wondered if I should conceal the HOA's contact information.
Then I thought who in the world would really care much about little old me to do much of anything with that information.

Instantly I began getting messages of love and support from so many friends and family.
Many of whom were ready to fight in our defense. I felt validated and so loved.
Then I found out that a few really good friends took it upon themselves to contact our HOA personally in our behalf. They knew how painful it would be to voice our story of loss and how dear those "Halloween Decorations" are to us. Phone calls were made and emails were sent in our behalf.
When I found out I was so touched by these amazing acts of love.
I'm not sure I would have taken that extra step of going above and beyond to help someone.

I immediately thought of a talk given stating "The offer, while well meaning and often given, "Let me know if I can help" is really no help at all.

I love this talk and have often reflected on that message many times. Oh how true this statement is, and how we have truly come to understand the truth behind it. Instead of asking what you can do for someone take notice and doing something for someone without them having to ask is so much powerful. I would define this as a true act of Christlike service.

I will attest as we were the recipients of this kind of service that our hearts were touched, our spirits were lifted and blessings came our way through such service.

At the end of the night, the matter was settled and we are allowed to continue grieving as we wish with our "Halloween Decorations" remaining in our window. 
It was a very emotional day, yet at the end of the evening I learned the impact of true Christlike service by going above and beyond for others and how I need to be more like our sweet friends who did just that for us. What a wonderful example each of them are to us and how we are blessed with so many wonderful people who love and support us in our journey of grieving.
Thank you all for the love and support you have given to us over the past 16 months.
It has truly strengthened us in ways you may never know.


  1. I'm so glad to hear you can keep those decorations up. Those little things do end up meaning to world to families after such a loss. We have some sweet reminders ourselves. I hate it when you get blindsided by emotions that can take over the day. So sorry you had one of those, but am in awe of the wonderful support system you have! Heavenly Father lets us know he is here in soo many ways and through so many people. Hang in there!

  2. I'm so glad people were able to guide your HOA and that the HOA now understands. Bless your heart. Must have been a hard, hard day. Prayers and positives to you.

  3. Such an amazing feeling when others go above and beyond what you could ever expect. That's one of the greatest blessings I've seen from our experience. I'm glad to know that you have such supportive friends and families.

  4. :)
    Glad to hear this all worked out.