We took the girls to a "beach" (man made) last weekend.
We thought they would love all the sand and splashing their feet in the shallow water.
The last time we were there we took Miles and Vivian on our way through to Utah.
We had so much fun there!
As we got to the beach last weekend Mark and I found ourselves a bit nostalgic and a little teary eyed as we remembered back to such good memories with Miles.
Going back to places like this are always so bittersweet.
They are hard but beautiful in the same breath.
It's easy to find yourself mentally and emotionally distracted by such wonderful memories.
Yet equally day dreaming of what would and should be to have all three of our children there with us enjoying such a day.
The day started off a little crazy as we didn't realize the police department was having an expo at the adjoining park.
We were rather concerned when we showed up to what seemed like every police vehicle in town and yellow tape everywhere.
We were worried, but quickly calmed when we found out it was an expo and not an accident.
What a way to start our adventure together.
Well not even 10 minutes after our arrival we hear the haunting thumping sound of a helicopter.
Since moving to Idaho, that's a sound we rarely hear now.
Which for us is a very appreciated thing as our hearts sink immediately at that deep sound.
Then we see it, Life Flight.
Our hearts sink as it comes and circles directly over our heads.
Everyone around is in awe of the sight, but Mark and I find ourselves completely frozen yet frantically scanning the beach sides for any sign of distress.
We are sick at this point.
Neither one of us can move.
Finally it lands and we hear the blades turn off.
A deep breath comes over each of us as we know first hand that if there was an accident those blades would still be spinning.
After we collect ourselves from fears, thoughts and emotions that immediately surface, we shake our heads and nervously chuckle to one another.
Of all times, of all days and of all moments that Life Flight lands next to the beach when we are there.
Honestly, this just seems to be our kind of luck and how our life goes anymore.
Our guard is always up. Our fears are ever present. Our lives are FOREVER changed.
Having "fun" isn't always easy anymore.
It seems like work sometimes.
But it's worth the work for the girls and even for ourselves.
When we finally collected ourselves when we realized everything was fine, and that the Life Flight was there for the expo.
We indulge in the moments with the girls that day, while keeping those past memories of good times with Miles on the surface of our hearts.
Vivian loved building castles in the sand.
Although she wasn't too happy about being sandy and even wet at times.
Vivian made sure to adorn the castles with beautiful "crystal sprinkles"
(small rocks we would sift from the edge of the water).
Clara loved splashing at the edge of the water and then going back to the sand and burying her entire arms in the sand as she sprawled out on her tummy.
We left with more sand in her diaper and ears than anything.
All in all it started out as a hard and very raw outing for us, but it ended with us making fun memories together as a family.
We will be returning....let's just hope that helicopter doesn't!