Sleepless Rain

Last night I found myself escaping to Miles' old bed rather early.
Some weeks I find myself nestled between those car sheets often.
I don't know why but I enjoy being in his old bed.
I often find myself trying to escape to his old world.
Looking at all the shadows that surrounded him each night.
Listening to all the noises that helped lull him to sleep.

Last night I stayed awake most of the night listening to the rain fall upon the skylight.
My mind was racing of so many memories of him, things I needed to do and people I could help in some way or another.

My friend recently said that rainy days are her favorite since her sweet son passed.
It's so fitting to the mood she is in.
I echo that statement.

As I thought about the truth in that statement I couldn't help but think of rainy days.
It doesn't mean that there is always gloom all around us.
In fact some rainy days are full of sunshine mixed with rain.
Other days the skies are heavy with dark billowing clouds.
Some even bring thunder and lighting.
There are a mix of things that can happen on a rainy day.
Just like the way I feel each day.
I never know what that mix will be either with each day.

But always in the end the rain brings with it a fresh smell.
It cleanses the Earth.
The grass is always greener due to the rain.
The spring flowers bloom with amazing color because of the rain.
Rainy days are just what is needed to bring on new life after a long winter.
And so it is in my life too.

I still often struggle to see what it is the Lord is trying to make of me.
What I am being molded into through this new trial in life?
My rainy days may be longer than just one season.
I'm sure they will come and go all throughout my life.
My emotions will be very heavy one day, but light showers and sunshine the next.
But that isn't a bad thing.
It's actually a beautiful thing if you think about it.
As long as I am always looking for the rainbow and blossoms around me at the end of each day.

I think once the sun comes up in the morning it's time to remember that rainy days can bring a new sense of joy too.
One that Miles' and I always made sure to get out enjoy.
Rainy days were always some of the best to get out in at our house.
We never took the change of pace for granite.
Remember this?
I think it's time for Vivian's splash boots to get soggy again!

1 comment:

  1. Andrae, I have marveled at your strength and courage as you have endured this trial in your life. You are truly and inspiration to me. My prays continue to be with you.