I was so shocked and taken back by Mark's answer. Maybe Mark is on to something. Something I haven't explored because I can't and won't let my heart explore that yet. I then made the mood light by saying "Well it better be more than fair or else...."
Then about half an hour later we began family scripture study. I read that night. We have been reading the Doctrine Covenants in the Book of Mormon, so I began reading D&C 98. It said:
1. Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks.
2. Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament- the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.
3. Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good and to my name's glory, saith the Lord.
And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
After reading that I reflected on what Mark had said about maybe it's more than fair. Maybe it is, I can't really say at this point. But I do know that because of our trials in life, especially those we have faced within the last year and a half, we are different people. We live differently, we see life in a different perspective, we behave differently and most of all we love differently. We have been changed for forever. Miles passing away has truly been the hardest trial of my life. I hope it continues to be, but as I know life to be, there will be other hard trials in the future. Hopefully not as tragic though. But I have to say even though it has felt at times as the gates of Hell were close, I know they haven't been. So if God says that all things are given to me for my experience and for my good I have to take faith and hold on to the fact that this promise is true. That he will make my trials more than fair when I return to him again in honor and love. I look forward to that day with all my heart and being. Every fiber in my body is holding on that that day is near.